Frequent Relocation
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Child care
In most military families, both parents work outside the home. Unfortunately, frequent relocation can make it hard to set up regular child care. Military families are often placed on the bottom of waitlists with every move. Where child care exists, it is usually designed for families who work regular workdays which cannot always meet the needs of military families. For single parent and/or dual-service military families, finding reliable child care is even more difficult.
While finding good child care is a struggle for a lot of Canadian families, the vast majority of military families may not have friends, family or support systems nearby to turn to for help. Challenges accessing child care can affect the well-being of children and make it hard for spouses to work outside the home. -
Early Learning and Child Care (ELCC) Professionals
ELCC professionals play a crucial role as a valuable resource for military and veteran families adapting to new child care programs.
When ELCC professionals understand the military lifestyle, they can better support military-connected children, recognizing their unique perspectives and experiences. They can:- provide guidance and support to help children and families navigate and adapt to their new circumstances.
- actively facilitate the adjustment process by establishing relationships with the child and the family, fostering connections with other children in the program.
- provide a flexible and secure environment that helps children develop adaptation and resiliency skills.
ELCC professionals should encourage parents to keep all child care staff informed about upcoming changes, allowing them to observe and initiate preventative strategies for successful transitions. A supportive relationship between ELCC professionals and military families is crucial for a child’s well-being and promotes healthy child development. -
School
Military-connected children and youth must continually adapt to new school programs depending on the province or country of their posting. Differences in curriculum, testing, credit transfers, graduation requirements, and language of instruction between provinces and school districts are a few of the challenges that military families face when moving to a new school.
In some cases, students will find themselves ahead of their classmates, having already covered material in a previous school. Other times, children and youth coming from a different system may not be prepared and will need extra help to catch up to their classmate, which can be very hard for young people both academically and socially. Individualized programming, pathway planning or tutoring, offered either through the school or Military Family Services Education Team, can assist in most of these cases.
Moving can be particularly difficult during the teenage years as youth get closer to high school graduation and are looking at their post-secondary options. Graduation requirements vary across provinces, and some youth end up having to do distance learning or complete an additional school year in order to graduate. University and college admission requirements such as classes and residency also vary by institution, and it’s hard to make a plan for your education when you cannot be sure where you or your family will be living in the coming years. -
Educators
Educators have an important role in the lives of CAF families. Inclusive school environments and flexibility during transitions are beneficial and essential aspects of supporting military-connected students. Educators and education professionals are encouraged to increase their awareness of the unique stressors faced by military-connected children and youth.
Military-connected children and youth benefit from both peers and trusted adults understanding their unique lifestyle. Educators can incorporate military contexts into group activities, allowing children and youth to share experiences either openly or privately. Addressing topics like relocation and parental separation fosters a sense of safety and belonging. Educators should monitor for changes in behavior and academic performance, especially among military-connected children and youth, who may be at higher risk of psychological distress. Flexibility of due dates and extracurricular activities can mitigate the challenges of frequent moves, ensuring these children and youth can fully participate. -
Sports and Extra-Curricular Participation
For newly-posted children and youth, getting involved in community activities can be very positive, but it doesn’t always come without a struggle. When a child grows up in one community, they learn about sport opportunities, timetables, and expectations as a matter of course from their friends, neighbours, and school. Social organizations, creative opportunities, and local activities are a part of the language of the neighbourhood. Signups, training, tryouts, practice, and class registration follow a certain rhythm during the year, and local children find their favourite activities and can participate fully.
Through its recreation departments, CFMWS develops leisure programs that are more flexible and meet the needs of military families. Try-outs for example can happen throughout the year, and day-camp programs registrations are open longer to ensure new families posted in have opportunities to participate. -
Friendships
A recent study showed that children from military families in Canada saw the main stressors of moving as the pain of losing friends and the fear of not finding new ones. For most children and youth, the hardest times were the transition phases, when they were leaving their old home and had not yet settled into a new community or group of friends. They worried about being excluded or bullied even before arriving at a new school. The older they were, the harder these children and youth found the constant moving required by the military. This study confirmed that the role of friends in children and youth’ lives gained importance as they grew older. These children coped with the loss of friendships in different ways. Some found it helpful to keep in touch with their friends from their old posting, and to remind themselves that other military-connected children and youth were going through the same thing. Notably, some children and youth mentioned how Canadian Forces Morale and Welfare Services support structures, such as mentoring groups or summer camps just for military-connected children and youth, were helpful.
As with all children and youth, those who found making friends generally difficult struggled the most with relocation. On the other hand, the more extroverted and experienced children were, the less intimidating they found relocation. In general, the children showed a high degree of resilience in their longer-term reactions to frequent moving.
How to help
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Flexibility
In terms of school and extra-curricular activities, take into consideration the effect of frequent moves on continuity and experience. For example, military-connected children and youth may arrive after peak times for team tryouts or for signing up for camps, classes or other extracurricular activities. They may not have had the opportunity to take the same classes as other children due to frequent relocation or living abroad. Try to be flexible to allow military youth to participate in the full athletic and social fabric of your community.
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Engagement
As much as possible, engage individually with newly-arriving children and encourage and facilitate their participation in community life and activities. There may be ways to give extra support in specific situations, such as assigning a mentor or helper in a group setting to show a new kid “the ropes” and introduce them to their new peers. In large community programs, there may be opportunities to create small support groups for military-connected children and youth. Such groups can provide a sense of safety and belonging.
Once familiar with their environment, and given the opportunity to experience the same possibilities as civilian children in all aspects of school and social life, most military-connected children and youth will adapt and thrive.
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Awareness and intervention
For the small percentage of military-connected children and youth who are seriously struggling, one step is to simply understand that frequent relocation can have an effect on a child’s behaviour. Moving can cause gaps and disruptions in education, as well as cultural unawareness and social isolation, that could contribute to situations that superficially appear to be bullying. Investigate with the student (and family, if appropriate) any history of similar occurrences and work together to fill the gaps. Try to work with parents or other community workers to assess each child in a supportive, friendly manner and find the best route to success.
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Hard-to-reach children and youth
For lonely children and youth, sometimes just having a kind and soothing presence with them can make their feelings more bearable. The comfort and warmth of another person can help them to accept themselves and their emotions. In working with children who are new to a community and struggling with loneliness, it may be helpful to stress that it is normal to have these feelings and to talk about strategies to help them adjust to their new surroundings and connect with others. If a child has become unwilling to open themselves up to others and be known, you may be able to help them to see the costs of holding back in relationships and the benefits of taking a risk to put themselves a little more out there in friendships. You can remind them that we all need to belong and feel that we matter, and that there are many other people out there who are also searching for connection. Since it is “perceived” social support that protects against loneliness, it is worth reminding teenagers of possible sources of support they may have overlooked (e.g., family, church, sports, etc.) and encouraging them to reach out when needed.
Interestingly, research suggests that there are actually some benefits to spending a bit of time alone; there is a correlation between moderate solitary time and lower depression rates and higher grades. This may be because spending time by oneself creates opportunities for self-exploration, a key step in identity formation. In the short-term, spending time alone can actually lift mood and lead to attitude changes and lower self-consciousness. Privacy and alone time are important; however, taken too far, to the point of cutting off relationships, it could be a sign of depression.
Rebuilding a child’s social network and close friendships is still one of the most effective ways of coping with loneliness, as it leads to a sense of belonging and feeling loved and valued. Both new and old connections can offer social support. Research shows the experiences children have in recreation and sport at an early age carry a life¬long impact. Positive experiences help children become capable, caring adults who contribute more effectively to the community in the future.
