Frequent Relocation

In terms of school and extra-curricular activities, take into consideration the effect of frequent moves on continuity and experience. For example, military-connected children and youth may arrive after peak times for team tryouts or for signing up for camps, classes or other extracurricular activities. They may not have had the opportunity to take the same classes as other children due to frequent relocation or living abroad. Try to be flexible to allow military youth to participate in the full athletic and social fabric of your community.

As much as possible, engage individually with newly-arriving children and encourage and facilitate their participation in community life and activities. There may be ways to give extra support in specific situations, such as assigning a mentor or helper in a group setting to show a new kid “the ropes” and introduce them to their new peers. In large community programs, there may be opportunities to create small support groups for military-connected children and youth. Such groups can provide a sense of safety and belonging. 

Once familiar with their environment, and given the opportunity to experience the same possibilities as civilian children in all aspects of school and social life, most military-connected children and youth will adapt and thrive.
 

For the small percentage of military-connected children and youth who are seriously struggling, one step is to simply understand that frequent relocation can have an effect on a child’s behaviour. Moving can cause gaps and disruptions in education, as well as cultural unawareness and social isolation, that could contribute to situations that superficially appear to be bullying. Investigate with the student (and family, if appropriate) any history of similar occurrences and work together to fill the gaps. Try to work with parents or other community workers to assess each child in a supportive, friendly manner and find the best route to success.

For lonely children and youth, sometimes just having a kind and soothing presence with them can make their feelings more bearable. The comfort and warmth of another person can help them to accept themselves and their emotions. In working with children who are new to a community and struggling with loneliness, it may be helpful to stress that it is normal to have these feelings and to talk about strategies to help them adjust to their new surroundings and connect with others. If a child has become unwilling to open themselves up to others and be known, you may be able to help them to see the costs of holding back in relationships and the benefits of taking a risk to put themselves a little more out there in friendships. You can remind them that we all need to belong and feel that we matter, and that there are many other people out there who are also searching for connection. Since it is “perceived” social support that protects against loneliness, it is worth reminding teenagers of possible sources of support they may have overlooked (e.g., family, church, sports, etc.) and encouraging them to reach out when needed.
 
Interestingly, research suggests that there are actually some benefits to spending a bit of time alone; there is a correlation between moderate solitary time and lower depression rates and higher grades. This may be because spending time by oneself creates opportunities for self-exploration, a key step in identity formation. In the short-term, spending time alone can actually lift mood and lead to attitude changes and lower self-consciousness. Privacy and alone time are important; however, taken too far, to the point of cutting off relationships, it could be a sign of depression.

Rebuilding a child’s social network and close friendships is still one of the most effective ways of coping with loneliness, as it leads to a sense of belonging and feeling loved and valued. Both new and old connections can offer social support. Research shows the experiences children have in recreation and sport at an early age carry a life¬long impact. Positive experiences help children become capable, caring adults who contribute more effectively to the community in the future.