Tips for supporting military-connected children and youth

Here are some tips for helping military-connected children and youth:

• Be aware of other local community organizations and their programs, services, and areas of expertise as military families may not know what is available to support them.
  
  
• Make connections with military service providers in the community and refer to them as required.
  
  
• Help children and youth new to the area by:
  • becoming actively involved in their integration
  • engaging them individually by encouraging and facilitating their participation in community life and activities (i.e. finding a helper in a group setting to show them around and introduce them to other children their age).
• Where possible, create small support groups for military-connected children and youth in large community programs.
  
  
• Take into consideration the effect of frequent moves on continuity and experience in their education and extra-curricular activities.

  Try to be flexible with deadlines and prerequisites to allow military-connected children and youth to participate fully.
  
  

• Understand that frequent relocation can cause cultural unawareness and social isolation, which can have an effect on a child’s behaviour. If there is problem behaviour, investigate with the child (and family, if appropriate) in a supportive, friendly way to find the best route forward.
  
  

• Offer a place where children and youth feel they can speak honestly and safely.
  
  

• When children and youth self-isolate, encourage fun activities and active strategies to relieve sadness, counteract immobilization, open the door to meeting new people, and give the child a feeling of control.
  
  

• Encourage both new and old friendships.
  
  

• During a parent’s deployment:
  • ask parents questions to see how you can help and show interest in how the child is doing;
  • acknowledge the situation and let children know that it is okay to talk about it openly;
  • encourage children and youth to get or stay involved in community and extracurricular activities and maintain routines as much as possible but expect that there will be some slowdown of normal activities such as homework or training;
  • help children and youth to express their feelings and stay in touch with their absent parent;
  • encourage children and youth to talk to their peers about the deployment;
  • support children and youth by listening and being willing to talk;
  • encourage children and youth to express their feelings in healthy and appropriate ways;
  • during reunion, remind children and youth that it is normal to hit some rough patches, that relationships cannot be forced and may take time to develop; and
  • stay present, predictable, and responsive to a child struggling with their feelings, no matter how they are reacting, encouraging them to accept help.
• If a child has a parent with a mental health injury or illness:
  • where appropriate, share age-appropriate information about mental health issues, and
  • be empathetic and acknowledge that fear, worry, and guilt are common feelings for children and youth with parents with mental health issues.
• Recognize when additional help may be needed, and encourage families to reach out for additional support from teachers, Family Information Line, child care providers, local MFRC staff, and other trusted adults in the community.