In the wake of a loss, a person’s personal possessions hold abundant meaning. It may take a year or longer to process the loss before purging; this can prevent regret in the long term. Take it in phases. In case of a lack of space in your home, an unused basement or rental of a storage unit might solve the problem.
Like so many things with grief, there is no right way or wrong way to manage this, but one thing that is almost always helpful is to make a plan. Set some goals for accomplishing this task and consider specific people who will be your best supporters.
When you are ready to start, keep five categories in mind. Focus on being realistic. Though it was your dad’s favorite suit, if no one in your family is going to wear it, it probably does not belong in a keep box.
Keep
Do you have space for these items? Can you take a photograph of the items instead? Can you create something meaningful from some of these? Consider ways you can keep and display a meaningful subset of items while letting the rest go.
- Taking swatches of your loved one's favorite clothing items and creating something to keep in your home, like a quilt or a cover for a cushion.
- Frame the title pages from their favorite books in high quality frames and hang them in your home.
- Organize a shadow box full of small items, pictures, medals and memorabilia.
Sell
It’s an emotional process. You can do it yourself or pay someone to do it for you.
- Estate sale companies know what is valuable, what isn’t, and will come into the home, inspect everything and make a plan to sell or auction all the items.
- List items on Kijiji, Craigslist or on social media such as Facebook or have a Yard sale. These are free options. Place an ad in the local paper. Do some research in advance so you can ask a fair price.
Donate
- Consider the Salvation Army, Diabetes Association, Goodwill, Homeless Shelters, etc.
- Call the Department of Social Services, YMCA/YWCA, local immigration and support services, or churches to see if they accept donations.
- Libraries or used bookstores may take books.
- Bring magazines to doctor’s offices or waiting rooms, etc.
- When donating your loved one’s computer, laptop, or cell phone please make sure that all information has been cleared from the hard drives. A quick g\Google search will provide information on how to clear the hard drive or you can bring it to a local computer repair shop.
Not Sure
It can be easy to hit a wall if you get stuck on an item you really don’t know what to do with. If this happens, put it in the “not sure” box and keep moving. Set a limit of items for your “not sure” box so it doesn’t get out of control.
Disposal
Cleaning products, chemicals, and medication - keep in mind these items have an impact on our environment if they are not disposed of properly. Your pharmacy may dispose of medications.
Though this can be an overwhelming task, it can also be healing. There may be tears but there will likely be just as much memory sharing and laughter. There will also be a feeling of accomplishment.
