Combatting the holiday blues

The holidays are around the corner, and if you don’t have friends, family or support around, it can feel very sad and extremely lonely.

Turn on the TV, and it may make you feel worse. All of the happy Christmas movies, and the commercials with happy people sitting around the table eating large and delicious meals may render you feeling like Scrooge. BAH, HUMBUG!

I recall having one such year not too long ago. My mother had passed away the year before and everyone was so sad in my family that I knew it would be best for me to stay at home – six hours away from them. My partner was deployed, the kids were spending Christmas with their biological mother, and my friends had left the base. I was alone and quickly feeling blue and grumpy.

I had never been alone for Christmas or the holidays before. Although I enjoy my own company, I started to wish that there was someone to hang out with. However, I knew that I needed to change my mindset, and once I did, I can honestly say that I had one of the best Christmas’ ever. Here are some things you can do if you are feeling blue.

1. Re-storying. Instead of thinking about how sad it is being alone, think about a way that you can look at this situation differently. Try focusing on all of the things that you can do without having to consider anyone else wants or needs. Enjoy a purely selfish holiday.
2. Devise your plan. Create a plan to achieve your desired goals during the holidays. What movies will you watch? What pajamas or lounge wear will you wear for the movie? What snacks will you have? What healthy meal will you eat? What will you do for self-care (be sure to add something that is extra special)?
3. Make sure you get out, even if it is for a short walk. Go look at some lights, or get out to a café for a hot beverage. Change of scenery is important.
4. Check-in with friends and family via telephone, or video call if they are not close. But make sure to have a plan to do something distracting after you talk to them, so that you don’t feel sad. For example, plan to watch a movie that you have wanted to watch for a long time, so that you can distract yourself.
5. Interested in volunteering? Volunteer at a soup kitchen or elsewhere and spread the joy of the holiday season.
6. Use this time as planning for your next year (a ritual for me). I use the holiday season to plan my finances for the next year with projected wants and needs so that I can achieve my financial goals. I also think about intellectual pursuits. I take online university courses for fun and for free. They are offered by Ivy-leagued schools such as Harvard, Berkley, MIT, etc. Check out www.edex.org. I have learned some super cool things in the process – FOR FREE.
7. Practice gratitude. What are you grateful for? Sometimes we focus on the negatives for too long. It is ok to experience negative thoughts, but we also need to find our way out of this mindset. By practicing gratitude, we can begin to challenge and change our thoughts.
8. Have fun! There is lots that we can do by ourselves. Enjoy your “me time.”

Our team at MFS NCR wishes you all, a very wonderful and safe holiday season. Care and be kind to yourself, you deserve it.